Sorry…
I posted a note on the first pages of your book. It says “Sorry…”
I mean it. I didn’t do anything to you (or maybe I did) but I have to tell you that I am very sorry for everything.
I’m sorry that I entered your simple life and made it complicated. I know from the very start that you were in love with someone else already, but I took the gamble and ventured more into your life.
I’m sorry that you let me be closer to you. I’m so sorry that I made you open up yourself. I saw your true self, away from that ever smiling individual everybody used to see. I was made known of your truancies in life. It became clear to me that someone your dear the most purposively left you. And I’m so sorry that I tried to take the empty place.
I’m sorry that I enjoyed myself with you too much. I’m sorry that I had to go home with you every night. I didn’t take advantage of the fare treat, what I wanted was to see you at the end of the day. I’m sorry that I let you grasp my hand whilst in the middle of the traffic. I feared that I might lose you. But eventually my fear would materialize, though.
I’m very sorry of those sleepless nights with you. Those wonderful times that we became one. Sorry for those romantic nights, lit by an ample light, we took each other to the heavens. Your hugs, your kisses, and your touches made me feel that I’m a human being capable of being in love this madly. I’m sorry that you had to do those things with me, because I’m not worthy of your love…
…or at least I am.
I wrote that story because of you. I became happy for the past few months because of you. It became clear that you were already a vital part of my personality. But with you gone, it’s like I got blown by the wind.
You never had the chance to say the words “I love you.” Maybe because you really didn’t. But I know you did love me, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t let me take a peek of your soul. You are just a one big ugly coward, whom I loved so much.
I have to move on, even if it is difficult. Life will knock us down but its our choice whether to stand up or not.
Yes, I am mad with you. That’s normal. But eventually I’ll get over this, even if it’s as painful as getting a heart surgery.
Thank you for everything, I loved you so much. Thanks for making me laugh, love, and cry.
